It's my hair, it's my identity


Everyday it's almost the same thing, someone has something to say about my hair. It's either a compliment, or a critic, or eyes rolling. The matter of the question may even seem as trivial for the ones who don't deal with that, but it isn't!
As a little girl I had to deal with all kinds of comments that I really didn't know how to process. It was " Cool, it's soft!", " You look like Globeleza!", " Your Momma actually knows how to manage your hair!". So many stories, moments, phases went by for me to reach this point: Me being so comfortable with who I am.
However, I don't think it's seems to be enough for others. I'll tell you a few situations so you can feel empathy and love yourself  and know that you are not alone. No pity, ok?
Maybe you also feel the need to prove yourself constantly?

Great, say to a 5 year old she looks like a naked Samba dancer

Who here does not want the support of their family? If you say you don't care, you might as well take a golden star and stick it to your forehead because you're beyond amaizng! But I'm not that evolved.
When I decided to stop relaxing my hair, my Mom nearly had a fit. The woman I adolize in this Earth said perming was something mandatory. But since everything has its fix, she now thinks she had the most beautiful nappy headed daughter simply because I accepted myself.
Now, I got an uncle, married to one of my black aunts who just can't stand afros. Of course his wife relaxes her hair. I don't know if it's anger, madness, or if it's just intolerance  towards what's "not common", but the guy cannot see the naturals in my family without letting a joke slip. So one of these days I was at my Gradnmother's and as soon as he saw me he said " Oh my God, what is that for?". I was reaching over to say hi to him and I had an anger attack and shouted" Look, it's my hair, it's beautiful the way I want it to be. I'm a successful and well educated woman and DON'T need your opinion." And that was it.
When it comes to my 73 year old I just "tame" the situation. She is an old lady who relaxes her hair even before she could walk. I can't make her understand, but at least she's stopped saying she misses my straight long hair that she loved so much. 

I get all types of reactions! Some love it, send videos, pictures and compliments. Others ask if I don't want to try out an oil, a new cream, mousse, gel and whatever else to make my life easier. You know how I deal with these people who just can't seem to understand? I decided to never talk about my hair to them. That way they don't touch the subject and if they do I say how happy I am with my kinks! I let out compliments about myself  such as " It grew so much!" " I love waking up in the morning and taking 5 minutes to get ready!" and so they realize how much I'm loving myself and they leave me alone.

These are my favorite! It's obvious they don't say anything to me, but they'll look with that " What?" look. Since I really don't owe anything to them, I walk on by smiling from ear to ear and I expose that super high dose of self esteem. The coolest part is when for some reason we end up making conversation they say " I think it's great how fashionable you are and how your hair suits you, right?". That's when I shut people's mouth.

In my Mom's family we have 10 women and only 4 are natural. One is always changing her mind, cutting, relaxing, transitioning and then is happy. The other one braids, then takes them off, and loves herself, then again puts them back and loves herself again. The other one you've seen her interview HERE.
The matter of the question is accept yourself and that's it! Even when you have an identity crisis, throw your fro up in the skies and go!
When I chose the title as"It's my hair, it's my identity" it's because I literally think my hair goes beyond a trend. 
For those have had their hair permed and now are natural have felt people's reaction. I call them ignorant racists. Back when I used to whiten myself, I walked through the streets of my country's capital at ease and not once felt that racism so many talked about. It's so common here in Brazil for people to say I'm not black at all, I'm morena. Apparently it's some sort of compliment as if saying " You're not so dark, you're fortunate." But now, with the fro... I remember going into stores before and being pampered by the salespeople. Ask me about it now.
Maybe I'm getting off the identity topic, but I want you to understand, whether you have straight, wavy, curly, kinky, permed or colored hair is that I, Polliany Colona, am comfortable with the way I look.

Therefore, I come to a conclusion. I don't need to prove myself, I actually need to impose myself.

How about you, do you impose yourself? It is your body, your hair, your will, your choice.

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